Overcoming The Ideal Me
Do you struggle with perfectionism?
Are you constantly comparing yourself to an ideal version of you in your head?
I have not researched the roots of perfectionism in depth so I’m not going to talk about that here.
Instead I’m going to talk about the effects of perfectionism I have experienced and how to overcome them.
As a perfectionist I can tell you with certainty and in great detail what the ideal me would be doing and accomplishing. But I’m not the ideal me. That alone is a perfectionist statement right there.
How do I overcome the ideal me? The ideal me is so perfect. The ideal me is who I should strive toward becoming right?
WRONG!
As much as a perfectionist hates to hear it (and definitely dislikes writing it), the ideal me is impossible. The ideal me is a superhuman figment of my own imagination. I can’t get anywhere close.
So what do I do? What does it mean to overcome the ideal me? The ideal me could overcome perfectionism just by deciding to overcome it. But I can’t overcome perfectionism on my own. I need help.
Fellow perfectionists, I give you perfection incarnate, Jesus Christ.
While the causes of perfectionism and human ways to overcome perfectionism can be studied, written about, and may sometimes be helpful, Jesus is the best way to overcome perfectionism.
Jesus Christ is the perfect man. Even the ideal me is flawed but He isn’t. He lived a perfect life and has made a way to overcome more than just perfectionism. He made a way to overcome death itself. He made a way to overcome the effects of imperfection (sin) and opened that way up to every single person in the world.
1 Peter 5:5-7 gives the key to overcoming perfectionism.
In verse 5, Peter says to “be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” He goes on to say in the next two verses, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your cares upon him; for he careth for you.”
That word “cares” can also be translated as worries, anxiety, or burdens. Peter says you can give the things that weigh you down to God and He will carry them. You don’t need to base your identity on your cares. Instead, give them to Jesus.
Identity is a powerful thing. When you see yourself a certain way, your actions will conform to what you believe about yourself. When you stop seeing yourself as a failure because you never measure up to your own standards and start seeing yourself as a child of God, your actions will conform to that new identity. Every step closer to Jesus, is a step closer to Perfection,
People will know you are a follower of Jesus by what you do. The actions that indicate your discipleship must be grounded in taking on His name and the identity of being His child. Attempting to conform your actions to your idea of Jesus leads only to legalism and hypocrisy. The only way to truly act like Jesus is to BE like Jesus. The only way to be like Jesus is to know Him more intimately each day and to reinforce your identity as a child of the King by making choices that a child of the King would make.
I always come back to three simple practices that make knowing Jesus possible.
Study His Word.
Pray.
Combine both with Fasting food and media (body food and mind food).
By devoting consistent time and attention to these practices you can know God.
If you are short on consistency power, ask God for help. As someone Who has never changed and never will, He is the premiere authority on consistency.